What Do Our Professional Organizations Do?

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | One Comment

A few weeks ago I had the occasion to speak to a man to whom I used to report.  He had read one of my essays and sent me a note and we used the occasion to schedule a catch-up call.  He had always been one of my very favorite people; he was smart and savvy about business while at the same time he was well read and knowing, quick to acknowledge that life was complex and about much more than the bottom line.  Moreover, he was the shining example of gender blind management.  He hired, promoted and critiqued his male and female direct reports with equally exacting standards. It was sheer delight to speak with him! Our conversation bounced from…

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You Look Tired. Are You Ok?

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | One Comment

A professional woman whom I coach had been invited to give a short presentation to another department by that department’s head, another professional women with executive and professional degrees.  After finishing what she felt was a well-received talk, she sat down in the audience, a few rows in front of the department head.  When the meeting was over, the department head approached my client, telling her, “I noticed how tired you seemed while you were sitting there.  Are you ok?” This is organizational politics at its very worst!  Let me be very clear: if anyone at work (unless they are your very best friend and close confidant) tells you that you look tired, they are insulting you, attempting to undermine your…

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Old Age and Treachery

By | Executive Coaching, Leadership, Management | One Comment

I usually end these essays with a quote rather than begin with one but today I am inspired!  I have spent the last hour on the elliptical machine, running to nowhere, watching the women’s semi-final matches at the Australian Open, where the oldest woman to reach the semi’s of a Grand Slam, Venus Williams, 36, will play her “baby” sister, Serena, 35, for the championship title.  To get there she beat the future of U.S. women’s tennis, Coco VandeWeghe, heir to generations of athletic talent and one of the hardest hitters in the game at the ripe old age of 25. Now, I am a huge Serena fan and I have become a Coco fan watching this tournament.  But I “ran”…

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Doing Good by Doing Well

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | No Comments

I am fortunate to work closely with my undergraduate alumnae association.  When I did my undergraduate work Douglass College, a division of Rutgers University, was all women, serving as the sister school to Rutgers College, then all men.  Rutgers College admitted women in1972, my sophomore year, but Douglass remained a degree-granting, single-gender school until 2007.  Now it’s been renamed as Douglass Residential College but it remains focused on programs and services dedicated to women and women’s education. I am the head of an alumnae-mentoring program (alumna to alumna) and, along with my work as an executive coach, I come in contact with many young millennial women.  I get it that my sample is skewed.  However, I am fascinated with how many…

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The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Work

By | Executive Coaching, Leadership, Management | One Comment

I have a reputation in my immediate family as a “good story teller.” When my husband and younger son describe me that way they really mean that they think I have exaggerated the tale beyond all recognition and am bordering on being an out and out liar!  My older son shares this particular skill with me and, like me, sees it as a means to keep a conversation from lagging.  But, make no mistake;  the stories I tell are absolutely true and reflect the way I look at the world.  And there lies the rub: the way I look at the world is, by definition, unique and my creation.   Mary Catherine Bateson, noted anthropologist and daughter of Margaret Mead and Gregory…

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If You Can’t Say Something Nice…Hiring, Firing and Building a Staff: Part 4

By | Executive Coaching, Leadership, Management | No Comments

I had a consulting assignment at a small company and, as part of my remit, I was available for one-on-one coaching for the senior executive team.  One day one of those senior executives asked me if I would spend some time with a new staff member.  This young man had been hired for a job for which he had no qualifications, no experience and he was loudly telling everyone what they were doing wrong. “Sure.  I think I can offer some help here.  Tell him to call me and set up an appointment.”  So began my coaching relationship with Mark (names, as always, are changed to protect the innocent).  Mark was young and very, very smart.  It was true that he…

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Good Leaders Always Have a Plan B

By | Leadership, Management | One Comment

I always thought that my role as a good CEO was to be a pessimist and surround myself with optimists.  It was my job to figure out what could go wrong – with our products, the markets, our clients, the dynamics of the industry, or the world – and my brilliant team would develop solutions that would protect, preserve and grow our business.   It mostly worked.  We had fail-safe systems within fail-safe systems.  We had telephone trees to alert each other for every power outage and blizzard at one end of the “disaster” spectrum and we had plans in place for key employees to work remotely in the event of fire, flood and – unfortunately – terrorist attack. We knew that…

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The Drip, Drip, Drip of Time and How We Use It At Work

By | Executive Coaching, Leadership, Management | One Comment

My husband and I look at the world somewhat differently and, because of that, there are many topics that we have almost unconsciously agreed not to talk about.  Yankees vs. Mets to give but one example.  We are both smart enough to know that you don’t change someone’s mind by arguing and we share so many core values that we’ve been happily married for a very long time with just a handful of topics off-limits. When I stumble onto a new, off-limits topic I am always surprised.  Many, many years ago he was in a rare, down mood and asked me, “What is the meaning of life?” I quickly answered without thinking about it, “Life is short and then you die,”…

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