Never A Down Moment

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work | 5 Comments

I have trouble relaxing. I really don’t have difficulty sitting and doing something mindless but I never turn off my mind. It is always racing around to some worry or another, reminding me of something I should be doing, something that would make me healthier or smarter or richer or thinner or just a better person. My dear husband never quite understood and used to tell me I needed a hobby, an activity that would allow me to lose myself for the sheer pleasure of it. Over our years together he’s dabbled in a few hobbies; he tried his hand growing bonsai trees. On Sundays we scouted flea markets and sidewalks sales, looking for unopened Avon men’s cologne bottles. He has…

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Dinner with Fabulous Women

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | 7 Comments

Two experiences happened recently that inspired today’s essay. My husband and I were sitting in the lobby bar at the Hotel Bethlehem in Pennsylvania, waiting to meet friends, and were admiring the scores of photos of famous people that adorned the walls. Deliberately nursing our drinks before dinner, we started a game, guessing for one another which of those famous former patrons we’d choose as dinner companions. After bemoaning how few women were on the walls – at least compared to men – I silently made my choices and then my husband astounded me by guessing every one correctly! I can never really claim to be misunderstood. A few months later, spending a day in NYC before an evening at the…

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Backwards and In High Heels

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work | One Comment

My writing is about management and NOT about politics but I must admit that I was taken aback by a recent Washington Post article on Melania Trump’s shoes. Now I am as liberal as they come. My grandmother, who died when I was fifteen, made me promise to never cross a picket line, a promise that caused me some anxiety during my years at The New York Times. I was lucky. The strike that was always threatening never came during my decade plus tenure. My first vote was cast, albeit illegally, for Adelaide Stevenson, when my grandmother cajoled the poll worker into letting me go into the booth with her and pull the lever. I am not a fan of the…

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Ready for My Closeup

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership | 2 Comments

The bottom fell out of the U.S. economy in the fall of 2008 and most businesses – and individuals – didn’t quite know what hit them. The business I ran was heavily dependent on the consumer magazine industry, which was already beginning to feel the effects of consumers’ move to the Internet. We had begun to shift our strategic direction earlier, paying even more attention to the treasure trove of data that we collected each year and mining it for broader use and additional revenue streams. Our head of marketing, a smart and hard-working woman who had created a smoothly functioning and strategically focused department from not much more than shoe strings and tape, was releasing data nuggets to the press…

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The Dark Corners of Polite Society

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership | 2 Comments

The business section of The New York Times on Sunday, August 20, 2017, contained an article, “Exposing a Toxic Milieu for Women in Economics,” by Justin Wolfers, that, for me, added one more brick to the wall of an already awful week. We saw clansman and neo-Nazis marching in Charlottesville, resulting in violence and death. We saw terrorism attacks in Spain and Finland. We saw our national leaders respond inconsistently, offering little moral or ethical leadership designed to bring us together. I wanted nothing more this beautiful Sunday morning than to curl up with good coffee and read The New York Times. Then I came across this article and was smacked in the face with the reminder that there remain many…

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“Gee, Lt. Columbo, That’s the First Time Anybody Has Liked Me For My Body Instead of My Mind.”

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | 2 Comments

That line was uttered by the14-year old genius Caroline in the 1977 Columbo episode Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder. Lt. Columbo had just told Caroline that she was not only the smartest young girl he had ever met, but she was pretty too. Caroline was the youngest member of the Sigma Society, a club for geniuses and she helped solve the murder. Of course, 1977 was the early days of “our” wave of feminism and those of us who were just barely adults then laughed at the irony of that line. We were two years past the International Women’s Year (1975) and we knew there was much work to be done but we were confident in our success. Fast-forward forty years….

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“I Hate Working for Women,” She Said.

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | One Comment

The woman sat across from me over breakfast in a local diner. I had asked her to meet me before work to discuss what had happened at a corporate event last week: she drank too much and told a client that I was ruining the company. I thought about this conversation the entire weekend. I wanted to be firm but caring. If this woman had a drinking problem, the company would provide the support she needed. However, I would be clear that her behavior was inappropriate and could not, would not be tolerated! I started my well-practiced speech when she interrupted me with, “I hate working for women. At least with men you know where you stand. I’ve never had a…

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The Incredible Disappearing Woman

By | Gender issues in work | One Comment

My husband and I recently had dinner with my freshman year college roommate and her husband. It was one of those conversations that combines walking down memory lane balanced with catching up. Seemingly out of nowhere my husband asked my roommate if she had changed her name when she got married. She did. I didn’t. He then said, “I’m always interested in why someone would change their name. When women do so it’s almost like they disappear.” I was speechless with his willingness to express his feminism and equal rights support until he went on to say, “Doing genealogy research is made so much harder when women change their names. I’m able to get much deeper into my family’s history using…

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The Bad Daughter and Work

By | Executive Coaching, Gender issues in work, Leadership, Management | 2 Comments

It was Saturday and thus my day to be at the nursing home.  My mother was thrilled, eager to spend the morning watching “Press Your Luck” with me and telling me about her week so I struggled to hide my impatience, all the while thinking about how much I had to do at home and the board meeting the following week, scheduled to deliver my year end projections.  I should be ashamed of myself.  Glenn, my husband, visits her every day as the nursing staff never fail to remind me. I am not the caregiver in her life because I have an important job.  I am a bad daughter. Women are the caregivers.  My husband and I talked long and hard…

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